Beverly's New Mission
by omschen
Summary: Beverly's back on the Enterprise after her year on earth. She came back to meet her friends and with a very private mission. I'm sorry I an really crabby at summarys and titles. So have fun reading! And don't forget to leave a review.
1. A Warm Welcome Back

**Back in Space**

Beverly turns around to face Guinan.

„What do you know about this girl?"

Guinan smiles. Beverly takes her drink from the counter and turns around to watch Wesley and his friends. All of a sudden she feels a hand sliding down her back and the warmth of a face next to her ear. Her heart starts to pace up at the familiar, yet long absent, smell, that particular male scent. The hand rests on the small of her back some moments longer, fingers caressing her through her uniform before they retreat slowly.

Her body seems to move backwards on autopilot. Her shoulder touching the shoulder of the man standing behind her. He leans in toward her ear and finally she can hear his rich deep voice whispering.

"See Beverly, no need to worry."

Beverly takes a small step to the front turning around to face the Captain. A sight rarely seen in Ten Forward. She knows he is a very privat man and slightly feels uncomfortable around so many people. In their eyes he is the captain and not a person. Many of the crew feel slightly uncomfortable when they meet him off duty and he knows. So he prefers to stay alone in his quarters, go to the Holodeck or spend some time fencing in the gymn.

She wonders what made him come here. She looks at him questioningly. He smiles. His hazel eyes reflecting her porcelain skin framed with her red hair. Her face softens.

"How come the Captain is in Ten Forward", she askes teasing him.

"I wanted to welcome my new CMO properly this time and invite her for a drink", he answers with a low voice his eyes never leaving her eyes.

Beverly cannot help but smile at him tenderly. She is lost for words for the time being. His gaze is awfully intense on her face. His voice low and deep exclusively speaking to her gives her shivers down her spine. So she cannot move but just has to soak in his presence. She nodds.

Picard scans the room for a table and finds a small seduced place in a corner next to a viewport. He places his hand onto her back again and motions his head towards the table he has chosen. Feeling his warm hand on her back she starts to feel slightly dizzy at the intensity of their being here together right now. She acknowledges the table and both of them start to move towards the table.

They sit down facing each other and as their eyes lock, the world around them seems to disappear. Beverly hears her son laughing but it seems to her, he is light years away. They barely notice Guinan serving them drinks. They are here now. Sitting at that table together. A man and a woman.

"I am glad you are back", Picard states.

Beverly nodds giving him her best smile.

"I am glad to be back."

Silence threatens to creep between them. Both no longer used to sitting together in a bar privately.

"I missed this",

Beverly states her eyes taking a stroll around Ten Forward and gazing out into the stars to rest on him again.

He grabs his glas lifting it slowly from the table. Their eyes locked he toasts.

"To new beginnings!"

She reaches for her glas, raises it and answers him with his own words before they both bring their glasses to their lips and take a sip from the red-orange liquid. She puts down her glas again, her eyes never breaking his intense look. She starts to brush over the rim of her glas with her index finger. Picard smiles.

„Tell me about your year at Starfleet Medical."

Noticing the tension leaving her body she starts to relax. At the same time she wonders why she had been so tense. This is the Enterprise. This is Jean Luc. She had known him for longer than she would allow herself to admit.

They have a history together. They were friends once, when life was still easy. They were young and wild. Jack, Walter Jean Luc and Beverly. When she met him the first time she was already Jack's girl.

She had been attracted to Jean Luc the minute she met him. He had that certain thing that made her wanting to melt into him. And she knew he was attracted to her. The way he had watched her, the way he tried to be close to her, the tension building up between them. It was obvious to both of them. But she was with Jack then. And she had decided to stop playing what-if games in her mind some time ago.

„It was great at the beginning", she starts.

„You know how much I love new challenges!"

He smiles and he nodds encouraging her to continue. She winks at him.

"And I had a great office with an incredible view over the bay", she adds laughing.

Jean Luc smiles broadly admiring her spirit. All this reminds him so much of the young Beverly he had known. It is as if they were back in San Francisco, strolling along the beach chatting.

They had been doing this a lot. He and Beverly would walk along the water, chatting, laughing. Every touch was electrifying. Walter and Jack would play ball, fight, behave like boys. People passing by might have taken Jean Luc and Beverly as lovers, but in the end of the day she went home with Jack. He however would feel guilty allowing himself to be in love with his best friend's girl.

"I loved teaching. I loved answering question. I loved being in charge."

Beverly continues. Jean Luc smiles. A small laughter leaves his throat at her last statement. She stops talking, pulling her eyebrows up.

"I can imagine that", he says jokingly.

Beverly nods to make him continue.

"You must have missed to order around your Captain and discuss the prime directive though..."

Beverly looks at him, her mouth opening but not being able to form an answer. Finally she had composed herself enough.

"I am not that bad!"

She insists.

"Oh yes you are!"

He says, his tone very earnest not allowing a word against this statement.

Beverly lets out a breath not knowing what to say.

Jean Luc smiles at having her speechless. He bents over the table to brush his hand over hers.

"But I wouldn't want you any other way."

She looks up to him, than back on his hand that still covered hers. His touch burns like fire. When he notices that his hand is still covering hers he gives her a small squeeze before removing it and leaning back in his chair again.

Beverly continues telling about her year on earth. She had loved teaching. Loved answering questions. Loved research.

"So what happened?" Jean Luc inquires after a while.

Beverly sighed.

"Bureaucracy got in my way."

She takes a sip from her glas and continues. Jean Luc nods knowingly.

They keep on chatting about whatever comes to their mind. Unaware of their surroundings time passes until they are one of the last tables still occupied when Beverly all of a sudden draws out of their conversation and looks around.

Noticing that almost everybody has left she turns towards Jean Luc again.

"Computer. What time is it?"

She questions.

"It is 0100 h."

The mechanic voice echoes into their ears.

"We have completely forgotten the time Jean Luc."

She brushes her hair from her face.

"I am sorry. I have to get started early tomorrow. I have to get going. Thank you for the evening."

She pushes back her chair slowly. Jean Luc nods getting up himself.

"Let me accompany you!"

She raises her eyebrow.

"I know my way around",

She states.

Jean Luc smiles at her. But she can see that he is slightly hurt.

"Of course you do!"

Beverly looks him in the eye and brushes her hand over his arm.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I had a lovely evening and I simply didn't want you to feel ..." her voice trailed of, not knowing what to say.

"It is ok Beverly", he says.

They leave Ten Forward together and make their way to the nearest Turbolift. Walking in silence their arms brush against each other every now and then. They are both aware that they are walking way to close to each other. But every touch sends a shiver down their bodies that none of them is willing to give up. Finally reaching Beverlys quarters they stop in front of her door. She turns towards him. Looking him in the eyes she feels like melting away.

"Thank you for the lovely evening!"

She is giving him his best smile. Picard slowly closes his eyes and opens them again not being able to hold the intensity of her gaze.

"I enjoyed spending it with you", he says.

He wants to touch her so badly. He wants to brush the strain of hair out of her face just to touch her skin. He wants to kiss her. Feel her lips against his mouth. They both fall into silence again. Not wanting to part but still not able to go on from here. Just before Beverly starts to turn around he remembers Data's concert.

"Data will play in a concert the day after tomorrow in Ten Forward", he states.

"Will you join me?"

He asks hopefully.

He eyes light up.

"I'd love to!"

Knowing they will meet again privately again soon their hearts become lighter. There is no need to be scared parting any longer. Beverly puts her hand on his upper arm and slightly squeezes his biceps. She draws close. Her hair tingles his nose and he inhales her own sweet perfume when she places a small kiss on his cheek. Too surprised to react he receives the kiss and stands dumbfounded when she turns around, wishes him Goodnight and disappears into her quarters.

Slowly he turns around and leaves for his quarters. As soon as he is inside he starts to undress and puts on his robe. He orders a cup of Earl Grey and stares through the viewport watching space. His thoughts are lost in her.

Having her back in the Enterprise is like getting a second chance. When she had joined his crew two years ago it was awfully difficult. They had not seen each other for years and guilt was still all over his live. Slowly they had started to rebuild their friendship. He highly respected her as an officer and a doctor. She is smart and wise. She never holds back her opinion. She is clear in what she wants and says and does.

Over her year on the Enterprise they were getting more and more comfortable with each other. She started to be his friend and then she had left. He was hurt. Finally she was back in his life. And this time he did not intend to let her slip out of his life again.


	2. Data’s Concert

**Back To Explore**

Beverly was busy at sickbay the following days. She needed to settle in again and tried to follow up on the crew's physicals and installing new routines. Still she was looking forward to meeting up with the Captain again. They had met during the daily senior staff meeting of course, but that was far from being in any way personal.

She did not know what to expect. She had to admit that she came back to the Enterprise for several reasons. One of them was to reunite with Jean Luc. She had missed his friendship and more. She had felt a longing for this man in her heart and wanted to see what will become of that when meeting him face to face again. And when they had met in Ten Forward his hand on her back was burning like fire and she knew that it was not the distance that made her heart grow fonder. Finally she was willing to give them a chance if he wanted it too.

She had been alone since Jack died. Well, every now and then she had been on a date with a fellow doctor or some acquaintance but there was never anything to it. Her heart was chained to the three men in her life: Jack, Wesley and Jean Luc. First she mourned Jack and when she had gotten over his death she was too busy raising Wesley to seriously getting involved.

When she learned about the launch of the Enterprise she knew she had to be on that ship. She had the heart of an explorer and the Enterprise offered her the chance to explore, not needing to leave her son behind. And she was eager to reconnect with Jean Luc. She had followed his career, followed on where he was from time to time hoping that their paths would cross again some time. But it never seemed to be the right time.

Their first encounter on the Enterprise was weird. She didn't know how to greet him and he didn't know either it seems. What to expect from a man, you had not seen for so long. The Captain of your dead husband. The man you were so close to some long time ago. The man you felt attracted to for so long. How is one supposed to meet such a person. You have so much history together and yet it is all in your way.

And so they met. And it was a catastrophe. He shouted at her, he doubted her and he wanted her to go. A great start indeed. It got better but she felt they were stuck. There was too much between them. Too much of everything. Of love, guilt and doubt. And so she left. She fled from being stuck. But she needed to come back. Being away from him she realized that she could not give him up without giving them a fair chance. Now that their first meeting had taken place. She had nothing to loose but her dignity.

So she returned. Hoping. Fearing. Waiting.

They meet in Ten Forward. Some musicians had already seated themselves when she entered. Data however was still missing. She looks around and finds Jean Luc sitting on a table looking in direction of the door waiting for her to enter.

As soon as he sees her, a smile produces itself on his face. His eyes are shining. She smiles back and makes her way to his table. Meeting and greeting people on the way. His eyes never leaving her body. Waiting for her. Watching her charming the crew. Taking in every smile, every twinkle of an eye. All of her.

When she finally reaches his table he gets up to greet her.

"Beverly!"

His voice sounds soft and dark pouring out his feelings towards her. Hearing her name spoken in that way, articulated by his lips makes her shiver. He pulls out a chair and she appreciates his gentlemanlike manner. He guides her to the chair running his fingers from between her shoulder plates to the small of her back and up again.

She swallows down the lump in her throat. She cannot believe what this touch is doing to her. She blushes. Her cheeks redden and her body wants to lean into him. It is all he can give her in a public space and it is more she had hoped for. Her hands want to flow over his chest. She sits down, folds her hands together on the table to keep herself from reaching out to touch him.

She is aware of the special treatment he is giving her. His smiles. The tenderness of his gaze towards her. His touch. She is still amazed how boldly he touches her in public. She is somewhere in between very happy and utterly scared. She knows she loves him. She knows she wants to try to be with him, if he is willing to be with her. But although it seems so easy, so natural it is not for the Captain and his CMO.

"Jean Luc", she whispers smiling Towards him. Encouraging him.

Their eyes lock and for a moment both of them are left speechless. Seeking the depth of each other's gaze. Data approaches pulling them out of a land that exclusively had been reserved for them.

The String Quartett starts to play. They are being pulled out of the com addressing the Captain.

"Captain, we are receiving a message from the Sheliak Corporate."

He gets up. Throws an excusing look towards Beverly and heads for the door.

"Merde", he says to himself when leaving Ten Forward. On the turbolift he sends a written message to Beverly.

"I am sorry. Hope you enjoyed the concert. Join me for breakfast tomorrow 0700h?"

Beverly is slightly disappointed. Of course she shouldn't be. Of course his ship will always come first. It is no use struggling or fighting the Enterprise. She leans back and listens to the concert.


	3. Café Au Lait et Croissants

Café Au Lait et Croissant

0650h Jean Luc paces his quarters. He orders Croissants, jam and butter. The table is set, the coffee is steaming in a pot on the table.

0655h Jean Luc sneaks into his bathroom to look in the mirror. He is more idle than one would think or that he would admit. He puts on some aftershave. He hopes to leave an impression. He is mad he needed to leave her yesterday. He knows she understands but he would rather not want her to need to understand. To step back behind the ship.

0700h He hopes she will come.

0705h The door chimes. Come in. She steps in apologizing for being late. He shakes his head. Don't apologize. I am clad you could make it. Smiles being exchanged.

0710h They sit down. Jean Luc pours them coffee. She helps herself to a croissant. She smiles as she dips it into her coffee. One might think you are French he states. She looks deep into his eyes. I had an excellent teacher when it comes to coffee and croissants.

0715h They both laugh. He decides to program the replicator to serve their morning coffee in bowls from now on. Tomorrow I will serve croissants with Café au Lait in french bowls he blurs out. They both stop talking, when they notice the meaning of what that had just implied. Beverly gets serious, she looks down at her hands fumbling with the Croissant. She looks up to seek his answer, wondering wether the words had just slipped out by chance. He smiles weakly. Yes, why not

0720h They talk about the oncoming mission. About Wesley's science project. It is easy going. Sickbay personal is training some emergency drills in the main cargo bay today.

0750 Beverly gets up, grabs her cup and plate and places them in the kitchen. Jean Luc follows her lead.

0755 They leave his quarters together heading for the turbolift. Right before they reach Deck 8 Beverly turns toward him smiles brushes her hand over his biceps. I'd really love to have breakfast with you tomorrow. He smiles. 0700h Café Au Lait et Croissant he askes in french. Oui mon Captain she answers leaving for sickbay.


	4. Girls Talk And Talk

Girls Talk and Talk

"I am glad you are back", Deanna says leaning over her chocolate sunday.

"I really need to exercise more. I gained 5 pounds since Guinan runs this place and you were gone!"

Beverly smiles digging into her fruit cocktail. Finally Deanna managed to get hold of her friend to chat and to maybe talk some counseling words. Or rather stilling her curiosity concerning the captain and her friend. Those two seem to spend more time together since she is back and she also noted the Captain to be in a lighter mood. She had tried to read their emotions but both of them were quite good in hiding from her.

Beverly laughs.

"Actually I also missed working out with you."

"So it is a date?"

Deanna questioned.

"Yes!" Beverly answered.

"Same time same place."

They smile at each other.

"I missed you Deanna."

The simple statement of affection touches Deanna and she smiles at her. It also encourages her to ask some questions. She really wants some answers from her friend.

"So how is it to be back?"

Deanna asks taking a spoon full of chocolate icecream in her mouth.

Beverly's face starts to shine. She smiles.

"Wonderful!"

"And settling in again is going well?"

Beverly nods.

"In a way everything is as it used to be and then again everything is so different. Wesley has grown so much. Geordi made Chief Engineer..."

She makes a small pause.

"Everybody has grown together so much and I feel a bit left out because I was not here when all this happened."

Deanna shakes her head.

"You are definitely not standing on the side. Everybody is so glad to have you back!"

Especially the captain, Deanna thinks to herself. He is different since Beverly is back, one reason being so is of course that he was relieved of Dr Pulaski. Those two seemed to be like cat and dog as one says. He ever got used to the new doctor and since Beverly is back Deanna figures he might never even had given Pulaski a chance because he was grieving Beverly.

Beverly brushes a strain out of her face.

"I don't really feel left out. It is more like I missed my baby doing his first steps."

"I can understand that. But sometimes one needs to take a break to change something."

Beverly looks at Deanna in a puzzled manner.

"What do you mean?"

"Sometime development needs space. One cannot push certain things to change or happen."

Beverly is still puzzled where to Deanna is leading this but decides to not ask any more question about this. She has the feeling this conversation might take a turn into a direction she doesn't want it to turn. She starts to fumble on the chair next to her and pulls out a small gift.

Better distract the Counselor she thinks to herself. She loves Deanna as a friend but she is a very private person when it comes to her inner feelings and is not willing to have them on display today. She puts the box on the table and slides it over to Deanna.

"I got you a present from San Francisco", she smiles.

Deanna smiles back.

"Thank you."

"Open it!"

Deanna opens the box and pulls out a rainbow colored bandana.

"It is a replica of a 1970s bandana. Back than there was a huge commune of Hippies living in San Francisco. They lived for love and peace. Somehow it reminded me of you", Beverly says.

Deanna answers with a big smile letting touching the colorful material and let it slip around her arm to try the color.

"Thank you Beverly. That is very sweet."

They start to talk about Beverlys time at Star Fleet Medical and Deanna fills her in on the latest developments on the Enterprise. Yeah! Filling in! One could never call it gossip. It starts to be time for diner and Deanna wonders wether she should ask Beverly to dine together.

But suddenly she feels the atmosphere changing. She looks up and sees the Captain entering Ten Forward. He looks around, obviously in search for someone specific. When he looks into her direction, he nods and Deanna can feel a wave of disappointment wash over him. She breaths in through her teeth. This will be interesting.

Beverly, who is sitting with the back towards the entrance turns around to see what Deanna is looking at. Hers and Jean Luc's eyes lock and both start to smile. Deanna can basically see the joy washing over him seeing Beverly. Deanna raises her hand to signal him to move over.

Then she quickly touches Beverlys arm and whispers.

"He comes to Ten Forward a lot since you are back."

Beverly rolls her eyes as an answer.

"I wouldn't know."

She answers lifting her shoulders innocently.

Deanna's dark eyes are dancing with joy. She knew it. And she was hoping that those two would make it through some time. Some time soon. She is a romantic after all. And in her opinion they are perfect for each other.

Jean Luc is finally standing at their table.

"Hello Counselor, Doctor", he greets them.

"Hello Captain!"

Deana says and holds out a hand to the empty chair next to Beverly.

"I was just about to ask Beverly, wether we should have diner together here. Care to join us?"

Deanne could see that he was considering his options. Have diner with them or find an excuse why he came here in the first place. It seems he decides for diner because he starts to move towards the empty place, Deanna had offered. It does not go unnoticed to her that his hand intentionally is lightly brushing over Beverlys shoulders when, he passes behind her. Deanna smiles to herself. This was definitely going into the right direction.

Diner is easy. They laugh and talk. In the beginning it has a tendency of being stiff and uneasy but Beverly and Jean Luc quickly find their usual easy rhythm. Deanna is more and more left watching the other two. Of course she had known, that they were getting along pretty well, but she is astonished how close they actually are and how at ease they are with one another.

Talking to Beverly, the Captain relaxes completely. Deanna notices his easy manner, leaning back in a chair. She notices that whatever Beverly is saying, he clings to her lips smiling. Had Beverly spoken Klingon, his reception would probably not have changed. She openes her mind and listens into his direction. Calamity and satisfaction is what she senses from him. And Happiness.

"Hmmm", Deanna starts to draw some attention to herself.

Beverly turns to face Deanna.

"I am sorry", she says, noticing that her friend had been a mere spectator for quite some time now.

"We have completely left you out."

"Nothing to apologize about", Deanna replies.

"I however need to get going. Commander Riker has announced it to be Poker night today and I intend to have my share of the winnings."

Thinking quickly she adds.

"You two are very welcome to join."

Beverly smiles and brushes her hands against each other.

"I haven't been in a Poker game since I left the academy, but I'd love to fresh up on playing!"

"So come if you want to. But I must warn you. Will is a pretty good player."

"The better", Beverly replies.

"This sounds like fun."

She turns her head to face the Captain.

"What do you think Jean Luc?"

Jean Luc gazes from Deanna to Beverly and shakes his head. He feels uncomfortable to join the Poker Night. He had heard his staff talking about it but was never asked to join. He doesn't feel uninvited but he has a feeling he better not comes to not disturb the easy round they formed during the last year.

"I am sorry ladies. I have to catch up on some reports."

Beverly's smile slightly fades, but on the other hand she understands that he probably prefers to keep a bit to himself and not impose on his senior staff private activities. They get up together and stroll towards the door.

"Thank you ladies for the nice diner", he states, when it is time to turn into different directions.

"It was nice having you for diner", Deanna says starting to head into the direction of the closest turbolift.

Jean Luc grabs Beverlys arm. The pure touch of his hand sends happy shivers down her body. His voice barely a whisper he asks.

"Do I see you for breakfast tomorrow?"

Beverly turns around. Deanna had already turned around the corner. The walkway is empty. She grabs his hand. Quickly leaning into him, she squeezes his hand and brushes a light kiss on his cheek. He smiles at her answer. The touch only lasts a second or two and when she lets go of his hand she is wearing her doctor face again. She turns around and starts to hunt after Deanna.

"Good Luck Beverly", he calls after her.

Walking she turns around.

"Luck is not an option. But thank you anyways", she answers him laughingly.


	5. Frustration

Frustration

Beverly sits at her desk in Sick Bay staring into the void over her PADD. She sighs, rubbing her temples, yawning and then looks back on the screen, but the letters dance around on the screen not making any sense.

She hears somebody entering and looks up. Her trusted Head Nurse Alyssa Ogawa took a step into her office and is now standing at the doorframe.

„Still here?" Alyssa asks with a warning voice.

Beverly sighs. Alyssa is a good soul but sometimes Head Nurses tend to be overprotective with their doctors.

Beverly raises her shoulders.

„Guilty!"

She answers and raises her eyebrows with a smile.

Alyssa smiles back.

„Take a break. It is late and you have been working overtime almost each day since you came back here eight weeks ago."

„I know", Beverly says.

Beverly had come back from Star Fleet medical with a sack full off ideas to improve Sick Bay and when she had come back started instantly to get busy. But Alyssa is right. She is tired and worn out. And preoccupied. All of a sudden she notices that Alyssa is still standing in her doorway raising an eyebrow at her.

"Ok Ok... I will go", she answers her Head Nurse with a frown but laughing lightly at the same time.

In her quarters she takes a shower and slips into her favorite pajamas. They are light blue with a classical male cut and hang loose on her slim frame. She loves the smooth cloth caressing her legs when walking and her breasts. Something is missing. She takes a turn into her bedroom and digs into her closet to pull out an oversized woolen sweater.

She holds the sweater to her nose and breaths in the warm scent of wool. Instantly she starts to relax. Nana! In Nanas house on Caldos a lot of cloths, rugs and blankets were made from wool and other natural material. Nana hated artificial cloth and Beverly grew up learning to knit and weave. It was a good occupation keeping you hands and mind busy and distracted from needless worrying, if needed. The sweater was home and family and that was exactly what she needed now.

She strolled into the living room, got herself a cup of herbal tea and sat down on the sofa. She folded her long legs under her body and started to gaze into the stars. Her mind went back to Jean Luc. As usual these days her mind was occupied with thinking about their relationship.

When she came back they started pretty well. He was almost over attentive towards her. Welcoming her in Ten Forward. She all too well remembered their first encounter two years ago when he almost catapulted her off the ship. At least with his words. He invited her to join concerts and they had been on the Holodeck together solving a Dixon Hill mystery. They were close to fall in each other's arms there. Fire rising in their bodies, want for one another obvious in their eyes. They had tried not to touch but touch anyways and then Riker had called Picard and they felt the comm like a bucket of ice cold water washing over them.

He insisted on taking her horseback riding and she actually enjoyed it, so now they went to stroll around woods and beaches on their favorite holohorses once a week. His a strong white stallion, eager to run and jump. But he had a good hand and she admired him openly. His strength and his firm hands, his will to tame the horse. She usually had a chestnut colored mare and they were both joking that if her hair were longer, she could impersonate Lady Godiva in case he needed to be rescued from any evil king or Ferengi.

And breakfast! They started off twice a week but soon were up to whenever possible. They chatted about almost everything. Enjoying each other's company but that was it. We are stuck! Admit it Beverly! We are stuck. We are way to comfortable being friends and way to scared stepping towards a romantic relationship. There was a lot of teasing going on, but never when it could lead into something dangerous.

It was a risk. And she was scared. Probably more than she was willing to admit. There positions on the ship were such as a personal relationship could interfere their work. She was know for disobeying his orders or rather as Beverly likes to name it: stretch the orders. More than once they were discussing the prime directive and only recently had she disobeyed his direct order to beam up from a planet and gotten herself and also him into deep trouble. Still. She had almost told him how she felt down there.

But that would be a strain that could tear their relationship apart. A relationship would definitely influence the crew. People would start to worry. Gossip would be hard on them. And they would be more vulnerable. It would make everybody's life easier to not try. But did they not have the right to be happy. To have a partner, to not be alone, just because it seemed difficult. No.

His touch still burned like fire. Especially when his hand rested just slightly too long on the small of her back in Ten Forward or when getting into the turbolift with some of the crew. Or his arm brushing against hers during walking along a ships corridor or during a concert. But her heart usually skipped a beat when he leaned in and whispered into her ear, his hot breath on her neck, she tried to take in as much of his male scent as possible.

Yes, he was teasing her whenever possible. But so was she. A kiss on the cheek to say goodnight after an official gathering when he accompanied her back to her door and nobody was around. Squeezing his arm, giving him her special look. Standing just slightly to close. Of course those things only happened, when they were off duty. The rest of the time they were Captain and CMO.

But it was risky of course. Still. She came back aiming to put her fears aside and she will not chicken out. No. Beverly Crusher never was one to chicken out. So come on Beverly. Think! You are stuck and need to pull yourself out of the mud. You love him. You want him. Do something! Think Beverly.

She grabs her PADD and writes a message.

"Will not make it for breakfast tomorrow.

Join me for diner in my quarters at 1900h instead. Civilian Clothing!!"

She looks at her PADD, studies the message and presses the sent button. Civilian clothing. No more hiding behind in a uniform. Not the Captain and his CMO but simply Jean Luc and Beverly. A man and a woman. Diner, soft music, wine. That will do. That will have to do! And now Beverly. Relax!


	6. The Past The Presence and The Future

The Past The Presence and The Future

Captain Picard had just been staring on his beloved edition of Shakespeare's Sonetts, when the familiar sound of an incoming message clang to his ear. He wonders wether he should have a look or wether he should just continue not reading the letters in his book. Admit it Jean Luc. You are stuck.

Just like you are stuck in this book you are stuck with her. Not that kind of stuck. Of course not. Things had stared pretty well when she came back. He had found himself in an emotional high. But after that year apart, he was so happy to have her back, that he simply needed to romance her in every way, possible for him in the open on this ship. Or rather in a way suitable for the Captain of this vessel.

Darn Captain. Jean Luc would have taken her to wherever, swooped her off her feet, romanced her in the open so everyone could see, that she was his. Jean Luc would not have kept his hands from her. These last weeks were good. A promise. They have grown very close. Very quickly. Very close friends. Jean Luc frowns. Friends. I don't want to be her friend. I want to be her lover. Yet he had no idea how to make that dream come true. How to step over this strange border that lay between them.

He was almost sure she also wanted more. She never backed away when he touched her. The way she leaned to him when giving him her goodbye kiss on the cheek. Her hot breath in his neck. Simply thinking about it caused him goose pumps. He was more than ready to move on. To move their relationship onto the next level. Onto the level it is supposed to be.

There had been a time when he did not allow himself to think it alright to love her and to act on it. But during her first year on the Enterprise she had made it very clear to him, that she was over Jack. And that she did not hold him responsible for his death. She made it very clear, that she moved on and he should do so also. She had said that in a way and manner, that did not accept any doubt.

Jean Luc frowns again.

How come that an accomplished man like me cannot find a way to simply get this relationship to another level. What is keeping me. What the hell is it I am fearing. She is a woman. I am a man. Nothing that difficult. A man. A woman. A romantic scenery. Some sweet talking. A touch here and there. And then. A kiss. Heat flickering in each other's eyes. He knows, she is attracted to him. Body's drawing close to each other. Lips touching again. Tongues meeting. Hands roaming. Nothing as simple as that.

He puts away his book. No need for it anymore. He will not be able to read another line tonight anyways. He gets up. His body is itching for her touch. His eyes wander to the picture of her and him. It had been taken some weeks before she had left for her year at Starfleet Medical. Earlier there used to be a picture of her, him and Jack standing at the same place. Before she left, she had insisted that he should replace it, because the past is gone and she was in the opinion, that this picture lay too heavy on him. Oh how right she was.

But if I take it away, it will leave an empty spot, he had argued back then. She had smiled and nodded. You are right. I will find something to replace it with. The next morning she came in, headed towards the picture and without any comment replaced it with the picture of him and her.

It was taken at Rikers birthday party. They were standing together leaning at the bar in Ten Forward halfway facing each other. His arm lay casually on the bar behind her, her shoulder touched his shoulder and it looked as he was whispering something to her. Deanna had given her that picture after the party and she had kept it in her nightstand ever since. But from that day on it was not only hidden away in her nightstand but also standing on his private desk.

He takes up the PADD. He reads Beverlys message. At first he is disappointed to not have her over for breakfast. But his heart beats faster considering the invitation for diner. Civilian clothing!! Maybe this is a step into the right direction. He is happy that he allowed Wesley to keep a cabin of his own when Beverly came back.


	7. And A Bottle Of Chateau

And A Bottle Of Chateau Picard

The next day Beverly is not her usual calm self. She paces around sickbay going through with the annual physicals. It gives her something to do. She feels restless. As usual she is slightly late for the daily senior staff meeting. This time deliberately. She is not ready to meet the Captain alone. She doesn't know why, but she is just too edgy to do so. She has no idea how she will manage to turn the diner into a romantic date. This is very bad. She always has a plan. But for once she is completely clueless.

She isn't even sure wether he will come. He has not answered yet. This is not like him at all. Has he read the message? Yes. He must have. Why doesn't he answer!? This is driving her nuts. She manages to get though the meeting without raising any suspicion. She is all doctor and professional. Deanna raises an eyebrow at her and she knows Deanna notices, that she feels uneasy. She avoids to look at Jean Luc and of course Deanna also notices that. Jean Luc stared at her as of course that also doesn't go unnoticed. She feels small in her big chair.

She tries to leave the meeting quickly, but as she gets up, from her chair Jean Luc adresses her.

"Do you have a minute Doctor?"

Of course she has. Unfortunately she cannot think of any reasonable excuse to leave. She lets herself fall into her chair again. Jean Luc continues talking to Data and it seems to take a lifetime. All the others are already leaving. Beverly is sure he stretches the conversation with Data to tease her and to make sure they are alone then.

Finally Data leaves nodding his goodbye to Beverly. She starts to feel extremely uneasy. She gets up to look outside the viewport. She cannot bear looking into his searching eyes. Jean Luc starts to smile to himself. She is nervous. Beverly Crusher is actually nervous. He can almost not believe that. But it makes him smile even more.

"I missed your company in the morning",

He starts to address her.

Beverly turns around quickly but stopps her move abruptly, when she notices, that he had moved to stand next to her. He is standing close. Almost too close. No. Actually too close for being comfortable! Their faces almost touching. He breaths into her neck. She shivers.

Not knowing, what to say she looks down at her feet. He is not making a simple move. He is not saying anything. Damn. What does he want from her. Why doesn't he move. Why doesn't he talk. She starts to be even more insecure. Darn. What is he doing to her.

She looks up again. His face having moved even closer. His breath on her neck. She doesn't dare looking him in the eyes. He draws even closer and without any warning his lips brush over her lips and he kisses her ever so softly but yet with an expression that leaves no doubt as to where he wants them to go from here.

He moves back. She finally has the courage to look into his eyes.

"Thank you for the invitation. Me and a bottle of Chateau Picard will be at you service at 1900h."

Without even waiting for her answer or reaction he turns and leaves. Beverly is left standing alone. She tries to calm herself down. That kiss was awesome. Ok. It was only a small kiss, but what it did to her was incredible. Her knees felt weak. Her heart skipped a beat. Has he even the slightest idea what he is doing to her? Oh Jean Luc. You are such a tease.

She takes a deep breath and turns around to leave towards sickbay. This will be an interesting evening. Something will finally move and she is darn sure, that it is a move in the right direction. She just hopes no catastrophe or Q or what so ever lies on her way. And if it is Q she will jump in his back and pump as much sedative in his neck as her hypospray can hold. Not that she really thinks, she can knock him out. But a woman can dream, when it is all about her and the man she is planning on spending the night with.

Oh, did I really just think that? Beverly raises her eyebrows to herself. And what would be so wrong about that, she debates with herself. That is what she wants. Isn't it. Yes. That is why she invited him. Civilian clothing! No sneaking around each other. Straight to the point! A well. Diner first. And then he promised a bottle of Chateau Picard. So of course wine first. And then?

We have been down that road. Dining, wine, a chat and goodnight. Why the hell should it be different tonight? She doesn't have a plan. Darn. A plan! I need a plan. Beverly Crusher needs a plan. That is just the way she is. On the other hand Jean Luc had made quite a move today. That must be enough for her to relax for the time being. Relax?? The word screams into her head. After that kiss??!!

Finally she reaches sickbay. Time to dig into these reports that stayed unread on her desk yesterday. They are a welcome distraction to what is going on in her mind right now. Alyssa hands her a PADD listing the physicals scheduled for today. She will manage until her shift ends. Then she will grab a shower and pick something to wear. Nothing to provoking. Definitely something teasing though. She is a woman and a hunter. She already programmed diner yesterday evening. She will have to manage that day somehow!


	8. Diner, Teasing Kissing

Diner, Teasing, Kissing

Done. Everything is ready. She glances around one last time. The table is set for a romantic diner. Candles burning, the light is dimmed. Not too dark. She wants to look him into his eyes, study his face. She loves his nose. Aristocratic. She likes long noses. No, she does not think that a long nose implies anything, but she likes long noses anyways. They look good on man. They give them a certain strength.

She had been wondering as to where they should sit. Facing each other or around the corner. Around a corner. Too close. Well and too little looking into each other's eye. And of course his nose. She also likes the back of his head. Very pronounced. She also likes his hands. Strong hands. Short fingers, but strong. Her fingers are long and slender. His are very manly. Strong enough to hold her. Hold her from running. Hold her!

Her clothes are well chosen. Teasing, but nothing too obvious. She wears a tight ballarina like top with tight sleeves that end right over her elbow highlighting her muscular arms and long elegant fingers. She wears a skirt that swings around her legs ending just above her knees and some black leggings. Top and dress are colored in a mixture between gold and green. Underneath she wears an emerald green satin bra and matching briefs. That will do. If we get that far.

At 1900h sharp the door chimes and she answers. She moves some steps behind the table, so he will have the opportunity to have a good look at her, but also he will not get the impression, she had been standing at the door waiting. She deliberately makes it look very casual just having gotten up from her desk.

"Come!"

Jean Luc enters and takes three quick steps to the front, so the door would close as quick as possible. He smiles

"Thanks for you invitation."

Beverly takes some slow steps into his direction trying to focus on his eyes. But her eyes drift down. He is wearing a hazel colored V Neck shirt that is allowing her to see slightly more of his chest than anybody else would be allowed to see. And tight dark brown trousers. He looks marvelous. She bites her lower lip, as she continues to approach to take the bottle, he is starting to hold into her direction.

Noticing the attention, she is giving him he smiles even wider. But that is not the only reason, his smile is growing to be so wide. She looks awesome. A woman can dress up too much to please a man, but he loves her style. She knows how beautiful she is and how to use her clothes just a bit to highlight her natural beauty.

When they finally stand facing each other he hands her the bottle, deliberately brushing over his hand she receives the bottle and starts to turn around.

"Civilian clothing", he murmurs.

"Good idea!"

She lets out a light laugh and turns around to face him again. She has a look at the bottle.

"Chateau Picard",

She says, her voice barely a whisper.

"I tasted that earlier today!"

Picard smiles at her reference to the kiss they had shared earlier and decides to play along. After all she had been teasing him long enough and this is a game that very well can take two players.

"And did you like the taste", he asks looking her straight in the eye.

"Very much."

She pauses. Straightening her face she continues.

"Would you mind opening the bottle?"

She continues and hands him the bottle again, turning around to fetch a cork screw. She cannot help but smile. Jean Luc definitely is as bad as she is, when it comes to teasing and she enjoys this evening already more than any evening or Starfleet party, she had been to during the last years.

She hands him the cork screw and slowly moves past him to fetch the wineglasses. They haven't touched so far apart from her brushing over his hand and while passing him, she needs to take all her mental strength, not to let her fingers stroll over his neck or shoulder. That can wait. They have the whole evening (and night!) ahead of them. No need to hurry things.

She comes back with the glasses and he pours them some wine. He looks at the color with his professional gaze.

"Just as full and rich as your beautiful hair!"

Beverly quickly looks down. Her cheeks redden. That was just a bit too much for her at the moment. It takes her just a view seconds to contain herself.

Jean Luc tastes the wine. Beverly raises her eyebrows questioning. Jean Luc nods.

"As tasty as your lips."

Beverly smiles and takes a mouth of the wine herself.

"Or as a yours", she states smiling wickedly at him.

Now it is Jean Luc's turn to feel slightly embarrassed. Of course he deserves that after all his teasing. She is not only the loveliest woman I ever met, but also the wittiest, he thinks to himself.

She raises her arm and points to the table.

"Shall we?"

They both make their way to the table. Beverly had decided on a light meal. She had placed a number of small starters and tapas on the table. As soon as they sit at the table, things cool down. They are joking and enjoying food and each other's company. It both gives them the opportunity to relax and gather their thoughts again. They are moving on well known ground.

When they are done eating Jean Luc leans back and looks expectantly into Beverlys eyes. She gets up and slowly lets herself drift into his direction. She stops at armlength, waiting for him to turn into her direction. She looks him in the eyes and holds out her hand in his direction.

"Dance with me!"

She knows he prefers not to dance, but from when they were young she remembers him to be not a bad dancer. He is astonished at her request. He prefers not to dance, but thinking about it, it is actually a brilliant idea, to dance with her. He remembers dancing with her, when they were young. She loves to dance and it always gave him a chance to hold her in his arms. He is sure, he will enjoy this time even more. He slowly gets up, taking her hand into his.

Beverly orders some soft music. She puts a hand on his shoulder and he puts his hand on her back. They start off a bit awkwardly, but with every step their movements get smoother. Beverly's hand starts to wander to his neck, fingers caressing his bare skin. His hand moves deeper down her back pushing her closer with each step they make.

Dancing was definitely a brilliant idea, he thinks, as he takes her other hand into his and places it onto his chest, slightly slipping it under his shirt so she touches his bare skin, covering it with his own hand. Time stands still and hearts start to raise. Her head slowly moves closer, her cheek touching his cheek, her warm breath tickling his neck. He can feel her breasts pushing against his chest and he knows that with the next step, she will feel his erection against her hips.

She inhales sharply as she notices his arousal, but keeps on moving with him. Brushing her hip against his hard manhood her nipples stiffening at the sensation of his obvious want for her. His breathing is getting more heavy at every move they make. He notices she is deliberately caressing him with her hips. He moves both of his hands to her lower back, slightly caressing but mainly pushing her to stay connected to his body.

When the song is done, Beverly stops and slightly moves backward. Jean Luc looks at her with a puzzled face. She looks at his chest biting her lip to gain courage. She never felt that vulnerable before. Finally she looks him in the eye.

"I don't want to go on like that."

Jean Luc stares at her, not knowing what she is up to. Weren't they just almost...

Beverly shakes her head as she notices his hurt look.

"I am sorry. Let me put this in a different way. I don't want to be just your friend any more. I don't want to go on sneaking around each other any longer. I love you. I loved you for a long time. And I want to act on that love."

She looks down to her toes again, too afraid of what he might say. She doesn't know, why she all of a sudden is so scared. She just poured out her heart and feels very vulnerable. He smiles. Soaking in the words she just said. He places his hand under her chin and pulls her face up to look at her again. Blue eyes meeting hazel eyes.

"And how would you want to act on that", he teases her.

"Like that?", he asks leaning into her, placing a kiss onto her lips.

Moving back from her lips slowly he asks again.

"Or like that?"

He takes his hand and slowly traces a line from her neck over her breast circling her hard nipple with his thumb down to her belly and resting just above her sex.

He withdraws his hand again asking the question yet again.

"Or like that?"

And with that he takes her hand, puts it on his neck and guides it over his bare breast down all the way until it comes to rest on his center.

Beverly had been following every move he made biting her lower lip. She felt completely lost in his hands. How did he always manage to make her feel like an insecure teenager? Looking back into hee eyes, he notices how lost and scared she seems to all of a sudden be. It seems as if all her self confidence has drained from her.

"I am sorry", he says leaning into her again.

Hugging her to give her some strength. Not knowing what is happening and starting to feel, that she had made a complete fool out of herself, she starts to struggle to get away from him. But his grip is firm and he cannot let her go. He cannot let go of the woman, he loves and he is willing to do everything to get this right. He breaths in her neck. She shivers uncontrollably. Finally he whispers into her ear.

"I love you Beverly. I loved you since the minute I first met you. I loved you then and I love you even more now. You are the most beautiful person I know and oh my god, you have no idea how much I love to show you how, I love you. "

He pulls her out of his embrace just enough to look into her eyes. He searches her eyes and finds love.

"You scared me", she whispers.

"Forgive me!"

She nodds.

"I love you!"

She adds whispering, leaning closer.

„I love you my darling Beverly",

He adds, closing the distance even more. Time seems to almost stand still.

"Show me", she begs him.

He leans into her, brushes over her lips and kisses her. Now there is nothing holding them back. He moves his arms around her, his hand pulling her close. She pulls her arms around his chest, roaming hands up and down his back. Their kisses are getting more and more insistent. His tongue asks for admission pushing against her lips, she opens her mouth and as his tongue enters her, she lets out a long sigh of relieve. Breathless they break apart for a moment. Looking into each other's eyes.

"I cannot believe this is finally happening",

Beverly speaks out.

Jean Luc smiles caressing her face with one of his hands.

"You have no idea how long I have been dreaming of making love to you."

Jean Luc moans and whispers her name. Somehow they make their way to her bed, getting rid of the major part of their clothes. When he sees her in her underwear for the first time, the satin green shimmering hard against her porcelain skin, he needs to pause a moment to understand that this is real.

"You are so beautiful", he whispers.

She tries to grasp what he says. Feeling not so beautiful herself with her big feet and long hands, her hips slightly too wide and her hipbones sticking up. But she trusts him completely. She is taken aback by his firm chest and his strong arms. He is wearing a pair of dark grey briefs, that make his firm riders ass look even better.

They try to take it slowly. They try to explore each other as carefully as possible, but soon they notice that their need for each other is too urgent. They have been waiting so long and Beverly has not been with a man since she was with Jack. They will have all the time to explore, the other and to make love to the other seeking the other's pleasure some time later. They are driven by the need to unite. And that is stronger than everything else.

"Look into my eyes", he says carefully moving her head in his direction with one of his hands, caressing her temple.

"Are you ok?"

She nods. Finally being able to look him in the eyes and to speak.

"It is just so intense. It's been so long and you are so..." her voice trails off.

Not knowing, what to say she pulls him down to kiss him.

"I love you", she says her voice barely a whisper.

Then she nods him to continue.

They try to take it slow, but the urge for relieve is too big.

Ever so gently he pushes a strain of hair out of her face and whispers:

"I'm sorry I was so quick."

Beverly puts her fingers on his lips.

"Don't be. I love you. We still have so much time."

She smiles. He kisses her tenderly.

"I love you."

Their second lovemaking is a lot more advanced. Having felt the other for the first time and having released all the pressure built up, there is no more hurry and the only need is to be with the other and give him pleasure. To explore the depths of their love for each other. Taking their time. Worshipping their new found intimacy.


	9. Out In The Open

Out In The Open

The next morning Beverly wakes in the arms of her lover. She runs her fingers through the hair of his chest. Jean Luc stirs and strokes her hair.

"Did you sleep well?"

Beverly moves to look into his eyes.

"Perfectly well", she answers.

"What time is it?"

She adds questioning.

"Too late I fear", he answers.

Beverly starts to get up, but Jean Luc grabs her hand and pulls her back onto the bed.

"Duty will have to wait until the senior staff meeting", he insist.

Beverly gives him a puzzled look. This is not like Jean Luc at all.

Fumbling for a communication device he sits up, straightens up and calls William Riker.

"Picard to Riker."

"Riker here. Captain?"

"Number one. I need to go over some strategic options considering my next mission and don't want to be disturbed. We meet with the senior staff at 1000h as usual. You have the bridge."

"Yes sir!"

"Picard out."

Riker turns to Deanna Troy raising his eyebrow. Deanna raises her shoulders.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know?"

Beverly raises her eyebrows at Jean Luc.

"What was that?"

Jean Luc reaches out for her.

"Beverly, we should talk about tactics before we go out and face all this people."

She nods.

"You are right."

Jean Luc continues.

"I want this to last. I want us to last. You are too precious for me, to simply play around."

He places a tender kiss on her lips and caresses her face with one of his hands.

"I will not give you up for anything", she answers simply.

"Now that I finally have you. You are my best friend and when we made love yesterday I felt my soul connect with yours."

"Good", he sighs relieved at her simple statement of affection and love. Smiling at her he continues.

"I want everybody to know we are together!"

Beverly looks at him questioning. He never seizes to amaze her. Bringing them in the open, did not seem to be very much like him. He notes her puzzled look and continues to speak.

"I am a very private person you know. I see it as my duty as a captain of this ship to give a special kind of appearance and I am having a difficult time opening my private life to others. I cannot offer you what I think you deserve from a man in public. From your man. But I at least want everybody to know, that I love you and you are mine and I am yours! I don't want to be the issue of any rumors and speculations."

Beverly feels a tear running down her cheek. She is immensely touched by what he just said. She feels worshiped as a woman by his kind words and consideration towards their relationship and the world around them.

She cubs his face and kisses him tenderly. She leans her forehead against his.

"I love you. And I understand. But you underestimate me. I know you and I will never be in your way Captain. Whatever you offer me, will be enough. Because I know I have your heart and that is all I need to know and have."

He draws her closer. Then he kisses her.

"You are the most remarkable woman I know. Do you know that?"

She shakes her head.

"But you are", he reassured her.

Beverly kisses him once more and starts to lean back.

"But now lets have breakfast!"

Jean Luc smiles.

"Of course."

At 1000h Jean Luc grabs Beverlys hand. He smiles and brushes his lips over her lips.

"Ready my love?"

She nods.

"Are you nervous my love?" Jean Luc says not believing what he sees. He wonders wether he will ever get used to her being on his side.

"A little", she answers.

He squeezes her hand and turns to her.

"I am actually, too."

She laughs and both of them feel at ease.

He pulls her hand up to his mouth and kisses her knuckles.

"Shall we!"

She looks at him, her blue eyes reassuring him.

"Yes!"

Together they enter the observation lounge. Hands entangled, body's brushing against each other. Time stands still. Faces turn towards them. Eyes widen. It is obvious, yet unbelievable. Unbelievable because those two walk in, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do so. Deanna is the first one to react. Her eyes almost prob out of her face but the she cannot but smile and gasps for air.

Picard clears his throat.

"Hm.. Good morning..."

Beverly smiles and squeezes his hand.

"The Doctor and I... Beverly and I... to limit speculations and rumors we want to to announce, that we started a romantic relationship."

He turns in Wesley's direction.

"I am sorry, we didn't tell you first Mister Crusher, but we didn't want to waste any time."

Silence. Faces smiling. Wesley is actually the first one to speak up.

"It is ok, Captain! I am happy for you both."

Beverly smiles. He has so much grown up. She is so proud of her son.

"Thank you Wesley!"

She says.

Riker shakes his head and claps his hands. He cannot but grin all over his face. Deanna gets up and embraces her friend.

"I want to know every little detail", she whispers into her ear.

Picard claps his hand. Beverly leaves his side and sits down at her usual place. Deanna and Will keep on smiling, but Beverly and Jean Luc magically transformed into the Doctor and the Captain again. And this is how their staff will see them from now on. They might get a glimpse on them as a couple in off duty situations, but everyone knows that that will only happen on rare occasions.

Picard pulls out his chair and takes a look in the faces of his officers.

"Now let's all sit down and start with the meeting."


End file.
